3 steps to help with back-to-school anxiety

By Stacie Gaetz

The first week of school can bring up many feelings:

• Excitement to see new friends
• Anxiety about starting a new grade
• Nervousness regarding the unknown
• Worries about what to expect… the list goes on

It is expected for feelings of stress to come to the surface during any times of change or transition.

One of the most important things you can do to help your child is to let them know that what they are going through is totally normal and that you are there for them to talk to whenever they need you.

If your child is less forthcoming than you would like, here are some signs that they may be battling with back-to-school anxiety on their own:

• Being more clinging and crying more than usual
• Having a short temper (tantrums in young children, “snapping” or attitude in older kids and teens)
• Physical symptoms like a stomach pain or headache
• Withdrawing from things they usually love
• Being irritable

Now that you know what anxiety can look like, here are some tips to help your child get through their worries to see that school can be fun:

1. Back to the Basics

Anxiety and nerves become even more emphasized and are more likely to manifest into physical symptoms when a child has not received the proper sleep and nutrition. Unfortunately, feelings of anxiety and stress tend to cause children to lose their appetites and not sleep well – a frustrating catch 22!

Build frequent snack and rest breaks into your school routine to try and avoid this.

Creating a predictable routine also helps to decrease stress because your child will know what to expect next and find comfort in that.

2. Time to Talk

As mentioned above, it is crucial for your child to know that they can come to you and share their fears. As parents, we can sometimes belittle our children’s problems as they don’t seem like a big deal to us, but they are important to our kids. Saying things like, “Don’t worry about it” usually isn’t helpful.

Instead get them to talk through it. It can even be beneficial to set up a specific time and place talk about any concerns or worries they may have such as right before bed. Make sure that your child has your undivided attention during this time as this can build the foundation for them coming to you about problems in the future rather than taking them on themselves.

3. Solve the Problem

When your children come to you with a worry, it can be tempting to reassure them with something like, “Everything will be okay,” but this doesn’t actually help them. Children who are prone to anxiety tend to respond to solutions to the problems that are plaguing them.

Work together to put a plan in place to rectify the issue that is causing them stress (or at least make it more manageable for them if it is out of their control). Sentences like “Let’s think of some ways you could handle that situation” and role playing can go a long way in helping your child feel more confident if a “worst-case scenario” comes up.

It may be tempting to shield your child away from the thing that is scaring them and let them take some time off of school, but this can actually cause more harm than good. Avoiding school will only increase your child’s anxiety and rob them of the opportunity to gather evidence that challenges their fears.

In short, if they are made to go to school, chances are they will have the opportunity to realize that it isn’t as bad as they thought and they might even relax a bit and have some fun.