Getting your kids to help with the school routine (without a fight)

By Stacie Gaetz

Life with kids is extremely busy.

With school back in, the number of tasks we do as parents in a single morning can be astonishing. It’s a wonder that we ever get the kids to school on time!

It can be overwhelming, but the easiest solution – and the one that will teach your children important life skills – is getting them to help with the routine.

Letting Go

We have woken our kids up, picked out their clothes, made their lunches, packed their backpacks and taken them to school since before they could spell their name so it can be hard to know when to let go of some of these tasks and let them take them on themselves.

After doing it all for them for so long, you may simply get in a routine of taking on more than you need to.

This new school year is the perfect time to reassess and figure out what items on your mile-long daily to-do list you kids are ready take on themselves.

Tackling the Tasks

It’s important that you set your child up for success and make sure they are confident that they can accomplish the jobs you give them. It might not be a good idea to get your preschooler to make their own lunch (likely of chocolate bars and cookies if left up to them!) but your eight-year-old may be up for the challenge.

It can be helpful to make a list of all of the tasks you do each morning (prepare to be surprised by just how much you take on!) including waking up your child, picking out their clothing, making their breakfast, packing their lunch, cleaning up after breakfast, packing their backpack, taking them to school etc.

Once you know what needs to be done, it can be easier to see what items they may be ready to take on, including setting their own alarm and getting out of bed without help and even walking themselves to school.

Get Them on Board

The way in which you present the idea of taking on new school responsibilities to your child matters – a lot. Especially if you don’t want pushback.

Start a conversation about them being so grown up and move that into the fact that they are learning so many new things (with a few examples).

I like to use the wording “I bet you can even…” to start a conversation about a new task.

“Now that you are in Grade 3, I bet you can even help me pack your lunch.”

You can start with using the term “help me” to ease them into it but chances are after you show them a few times and they realize they can do it; they will want to go it alone.

It’s important that they buy into what you are asking them to do so you can even show them that list you made of all of the things that need to be done and ask them which they would like to take on.

There will be Hiccups

Once your child starts taking on these tasks themselves, things won’t always go perfectly.

Sometimes they will miss their alarm, their lunch will be less healthy than what you would have chosen, and they will forget their homework from time to time.

As much as it is your job to do all of these things for them when they are young, it is also your job to sometimes let natural consequences take their course as they get older.

A missed alarm will lead to a more rushed morning or a “late” at school, a lunch full of junk will leave them without energy to play with their friends (or with a stomachache) and their forgotten homework will have repercussions from their teacher.

You will definitely need to rein them in from time to time but often letting these consequences take their course is much more a of an impactful and lasting lesson than you constantly nagging them.

Another thing to keep in mind is that your kids taking on these tasks will take longer than if you did them yourself. Make sure you allot extra time and then try to take a deep breath and step back to let them do it themselves rather than taking over to make it go faster or be done your way.

Other Areas

Now that your child is taking on more responsibilities for school, these skills can transfer into other areas of life too.

They can start getting ready for extracurricular activities by themselves, pack their own bag for vacation and even make a simple dinner for the family on their own once in a while.

You can use their daily tasks as inspiration, “You make your own lunch every day, you can definitely make us all some salad for dinner. You’ve got this!”

Make sure to always offer your help if they would like it but let them do most of the work.

As much as we would like help with the monumental list of tasks we do in a day, it can be hard to give up the control.

However, doing things for themselves is how our children learn new skills.

Allowing your kids to take on more of their school responsibilities is win-win as they learn skills they will use for their whole lives and you have a number of jobs taking off of your to-do list!

So, enjoy sitting down and drinking that cup of coffee (while it’s hot for once!) and watch as your kids become more self-sufficient.