Go from chaos to calm this Christmas

By Stacie Gaetz

A gorgeously decorated house, pristinely wrapped presents piled under the tree, perfectly iced cookies set out for the Man in Red… this is the picture that media and movies paint of the holiday season. If only the real life looked like the movies.

The truth is Christmas can mean more stress than celebration for parents.

As December approaches and your to-do list becomes as long as Santa’s, there are a few things you can do to calm the chaos.

Be prepared

There is a reason this is the Boy Scout motto. Preparing your children to do things they may not want to do can help the activity go more smoothly. If they are expected to act a certain way when they visit Santa or go see your great aunt, let them know what is expected of them. Practice scenarios ahead of time and let them know what they are and are not allowed to do. It can also help to give them something fun to look forward to after it is over.

Fill it with fun

If your children are impatient to open their presents and beg to unwrap “just one!” for more than a month before the big day, let them! Well sort of. Make a game out of it. Wrap some items they already own and let them unwrap them. Get older siblings to wrap each other’s toys and guess what is in the “present.” Let them find unique materials to wrap items in and then challenge the other to open it (you can use duct tape, fabric, newspaper, paper towel, tinfoil, or just wrap it as many times as possible).

Keep some consistency

The holidays are just that – time off school and work. But it is important to keep some form of routine in your child’s day. Other than on days where you are out at an event or relative’s house, try to keep bedtime roughly the same.

Sleeping in is a much-needed break for everyone in the family but try not to let it get too out of hand. A child who usually wakes up at 6am for school will feel “off” during the day and may start acting out if they start sleeping until 10am or later for two weeks.

Morning and bedtime routines are important for kids too so try to keep those in place whenever possible.

Check in

Take the time to check in with yourself, your children, and your spouse about what is most important to them this time of year. We all get so busy that we sometimes end up on autopilot, just going through the motions to get done what needs to get done.

We all have our favorite traditions, hobbies, foods, and ways to spend time over the holidays. Make sure you aren’t missing out on anyone’s favorites. Also, just because you have always done a certain tradition doesn’t mean you have to keep up with it. Perhaps your children have grown out of the desire to make a gingerbread house, but they want to start making wreaths for their rooms. Maybe you ran out of time to drive around and look at Christmas lights last year and you thought no one noticed but your kids really missed it. Maybe your husband wants to include the kids in putting up the Christmas lights on your house this year. Check in so everyone gets to take part in the traditions they love most.

Put them to work

Part of the Christmas spirit is spending time with your loved ones. You can do more of this by making errands into fun interactive outings with your kids. Let them help you check some items off your list. Kids can help you write, address and mail Christmas cards; wrap presents; make gifts for friends and family; decorate the home (inside and out) and much more.

As parents, we take on so much and often forget that we have our own little elves to help us out. Added Bonus – Working together to get a job done creates a sense of connection and bonding between you and the kids and among siblings as well.

Let go

Your life will be much happier if you accept that Christmas will not be perfect. The holiday season comes with so many expectations and many of them are impossible to meet.

If your house is a mash up of hand-me-down decorations that some would call tacky, embrace your colorful memories rather than aspiring to color-coordinated magazine-style décor.

If your first batch of Christmas cookies ended up a bit “crispier” than you were hoping, laugh it off and try again.

If you end up catching the dreadful flu that is going around, take time to slow down and pull out some old board games. A few cancelled plans never hurt anyone.

Another thing you may need to let go of is other people’s expectations of you. Extended families are large, and your attention and time can be pulled in many different directions. Let your loved ones know what your schedule looks like and preserve downtime for you and your family. Don’t feel bad about letting others down and offer alternatives. Suggest getting together with some people after the holidays for a skating or sledding date in January.

The holidays are going to be busy, but they don’t have to be stressful. Make sure you take the time to find out what your family wants out of the season and work together towards those goals.