15 life skills your teen should know before leaving the nest

By Stacie Gaetz

There comes a time in every parent’s life when you realize you are no longer “helping” your children do things, you are giving them the skills they need to do them without you.

Making sure your kids know what they need to before they leave the house and go out on their own can be stressful.

It’s a big job but there are a few skills that you can work on together before your not-so-little bird leaves the nest.

1. Cooking (and cleaning up after)

Although our teens would like to believe they can live solely on ramen and sandwiches, it’s probably best that they don’t. Letting them choose a few of their favorite dishes and teaching them how to shop for and make them, is an important lesson. It is equally important to teach them how to keep a tidy kitchen after they cook including doing dishes, loading and unloading the dishwasher, how to handle raw meat, knife safety and other culinary skills.

2. Laundry

This is one that can be tricky. We all know that it is faster for us to just do their laundry for them. In fact, if you wait for your teen to get to it, the dirty clothes may take over the entire house before anyone washes them. However, it is important to teach your youth how to sort, wash, dry, fold and put away their clothing before they are out on their own. If they are moving into a building with paid or shared laundry that is different from what you have at home, it can be helpful to run through that with them while you are checking out their new place.

3. First aid

Every adolescent should know how to use all the elements in a first aid kit. They should know how to stop a wound from bleeding, how to treat a burn, how to stop a nosebleed, who to call for a possible poisoning, how to perform CPR and when to seek medical assistance. 

4. Basic plumbing

We’ve all been there – our kid calling us frantically from the bathroom as the toilet bowl fills up with water. If your child tends to panic under unexpected circumstances like these, prepare them for how to handle the situation before it happens. Teach them to use a plunger, how to turn off the water (on the toilet and for the whole house) and how to avoid common plumbing problems in the first place.

5. Smart shopping

Bringing your kids grocery shopping with you starting from a young age is a great life lesson. Let them know why you are choosing one product over the other and how to compare them. Make sure they are prepared beforehand with a list to avoid overspending. These lessons can also be applied to larger items. Work with your teen to research and compare the price and quality of items like electronics, furniture and even experiences and trips.

6. Car maintenance and/or navigating public transit

One of the most important skills your teen will need is how to get from point A to point B. If they have a car of their own, let them know the basics like filling the car up with gas, changing the oil and checking the tires for air pressure. Ensure they have an emergency kit in their car and know how to use everything in it. Help them put reminders in their phones for due dates of other services that they will bring the vehicle into a mechanic for. If transit is the way they get around, help them navigate the process of purchasing tickets, which stops to get on and off, how to time pick up and drop offs and troubleshooting potential problems.

7. Making appointments

This one may seem like a no-brainer, but parents often make appointments for their children for the entire time they live with them. It’s one of those things that you have just always done, so you do it. Getting your teen to call the doctor, dentist, eye doctor and other places to make their own appointments is a good practice to get into. It has the added benefit of helping them use a schedule and deal with time management.

8. Money management

This one goes hand-in-hand with smart shopping but is a bit more complicated. Before your child goes out into the real world without you, teach them how to create and stick to a budget (including an emergency fund). This will get them thinking about everything that they will need to spend their hard-earned money on. Many young people don’t realize how many bills they will have and need it laid out in front of them to get the full picture.

9. Basics of how to do taxes

Parents have been saying it for years: How to do taxes should be taught in school… But it is not and therefore it is up to us to impart that wisdom to our kids. Use technology to your advantage and allow software to help teach your child what they need to know about filing their taxes. No one wants to do it, but taxes are one of the only things that is certain in life.

10. How to spot a scam

This is one that is always changing and evolving so although you can give them a head-start, they will need to keep up on the latest scams and how to avoid them. Teach them how to make sure their electronics are secure. Let them know how to create and keep track of secure passwords and what words to look for in a fraudulent email, phone call, or texts.

11. Fill out a job application & write a resume

Chances are your teen has had a job before they leave your home, so they probably have some experience with this already. If not, there are many resources online about the best ways to write resumes and cover letters and how young people can get a potential employer’s attention.

12. Time management

You won’t always be there to remind them that they have a project due, practice at 5pm or a dentist appointment. This may be one of the most important skills your adolescent learns. Tools like schedules, planners, apps and reminders can take off some of the pressure. Help them learn how to prioritize what is important to them and balance that with obligations they have made to other people. Lastly, as they get older, it is important to avoid nagging your teen about certain obligations. There is no better teacher than experience and if they miss a deadline or important game, that will be a powerful message that something needs to change.

13. Making connections

When our kids are young, we are there to introduce them to new playmates, then they go to school and start to find “their people” and make their own friends. As budding adults, they need to know how to approach people, introduce themselves, make small talk and create mutually beneficial relationships in both their professional and personal lives.

14. Navigating unfamiliar places

Your kid has moved up from screaming “are we there yet!” from the backseat to driving! It is not only important that they know how to work GPS but also that they know what to do if that isn’t available. How are they going to make it to their destination if their phone dies? What if they have no service in the area and GPS stops or get an error message? How can they navigate without technology? Teach them how we used to do it “back in the day.”

15. Stand up for themselves

This is a big one! Teaching our kids how to respectfully stand up for themselves (and others) when they think something is wrong is a daunting task. It can help to start by telling them that being assertive is a good thing. It involves standing up for your right to be treated fairly and/or advocating for yourself in a clear, direct manner and positive way. Give them some tips and tricks like not addressing a situation until they have had time to cool down, using “I” statements instead oof “you” statements when discussing the problem, avoiding terms like “always” and “never” and focusing on finding a reasonable and mutually beneficial solution.

Preparing your children for life away from you is the biggest and hardest job you have as a parent. It can seem overwhelming, but the good news is, you have been doing many of these things since your child was young. More good news – you don’t have to be a mind reader. Talk to your teen and ask them if there is anything they feel like their friends can do that they aren’t sure of yet. Let them know you will help them figure it out because no matter how old they get or where they live, you will always be there for them.